Not what I wanted
by WittyElena
Summary: This wasn't what she wanted. If it had been her choice, she would have gone peacefully. Yet things don't always go the way we want. Delena in future chapters.


#NotWhatIWanted

There are days when everything seems to go right. But there are also days when you just stop doing everything you were busy with and stare out in front of you. That's how Elena found herself sitting in her bedroom on the bench near her window. Yet there was one difference. Elena had barely done anything else but staring out in front of her. Her hands clutched in her lap.

It would be a lie if I said she hadn't mused about not being around anymore. Literally. Fact remains the same: she had already died. Physically but also emotionally. The only thing that could complete her dying would be a stake through her heart. Every single day Damon and Stefan would be confronted with her empty gaze. Numbness surrounding them. They couldn't take it. It was almost too much. The girl they loved had turned into that what she never wanted to be. She had turned into it for eternity. Vampire.

Her head sagged as she squeezed her eyes shut. Every day she was reminded that a stranger's blood was running through her veins. The taste on her tongue was that one of an innocent person. Sure she had never –killed- one herself. She had merely been sucking blood from blood bags, yet that didn't brought her solace. In fact it wasn't here choice to even drink it. No. Not at all. If it were Elena's choice, she wouldn't have gone through the transitioning process. She would have gone peacefully. Yet as soon as Stefan had heard about it, he had gone pretty much ballistic.

With her eyes closed, Elena leaned her head against the window. Images flashing behind her closed lids. –

[ Stefan stood in the kitchen, a blood bag in his hands. With a strained voice, he snapped at Damon. "She needs this. She's going to die otherwise.". Damon had looked incredulously at him. "She is not going to complete her transition, Stefan.", he told Stefan in a tone that mothers use to explain something to their kids. The younger brother had snorted. "Sure she is. She doesn't want to die. She doesn't. Why would you say something like this?"

"She already died, Stefan. And you're the one to blame. You can't take –this- decision away from her like you took it away from me!", Damon scolded, his voice laced with contempt and fury.

Of course Damon didn't want to lose Elena. Over his dead body. Yet she had looked at him with tearful chocolate orbs. Every emotion that he had felt back then –all those years ago- was displayed in hers. No matter how deeply he loved her, he wouldn't do the same.

Meanwhile Elena had been watching this scene from the living room. Trying hard to ignore it all. She couldn't though. Each sigh, each word rang in her ears so clearly that it almost hurt. She hadn't expected the following though… One moment there was nothing but silence after what Damon had said, the next moment Stefan had flashed towards her with the blood bag clutched in his hand. He nearly started waving with it at Elena. "Elena. Drink! You can't do this. I can't lose you again. Please! Think about Jer, Caroline, Bonnie. You can't leave them. You just can't". His voice had grown harsh, rough. The scent of blood made Elena's throat burn, her pupils dilated. It smelled so good. So tempting. "No", she said to herself before glancing up at Stefan! "No! I don't want to be a vampire! Elena turned away, removing herself from the couch and to the other side of the room. The blood was too tempting. "Elena, please"; Stefan pleaded once more. His voice turning desperate. "No. Please, Stefan. I can't. I won't. I don't want it." A fierce sound suddenly sounded in the room. Stefan had growled in frustration, ripping the blood bag open, the blood quickly started to drip on the floor. Its aroma filling the room. It was pure torture. Every cell in her body craved for Elena to move forward and drink everything that bag had to offer.

Suddenly Damon came into action, throwing Stefan against the wall, the veins under his eyes visible. "You fool! You've done enough! Leave". As Stefan was scrambling to get on his feet, Damon twisted around only to see Elena with the empty bag in her hands, her lips stained red. Yet that wasn't the worst part. His heart wrenched at the fact that she was gagging, tears rolling down her cheeks. Hate, pain, betrayal glistening in her eyes. Stumbling, she jumped up. The empty bag falling onto the ground. Damon and Stefan couldn't move as Elena blurred up to her room. Locking it.] –

This had happened 5 days, 9 hours, 24 minutes ago.

"Elena", she could hear Stefan again. His voice a plead. She shook her head. "Elena please, this can't go on like this.", he said with a shaky frustrated voice. Day after day he had been trying to push her. Day after day he had been reminding her that he missed her. The one she left behind against her own will. Yet not once had he apologized. "Leave.", was her reply. "No. I'm not leaving you. Not like this. Don't shut me out, Elena.", he urged. "Fine… then I'll leave", Elena murmured. One second she was there, the next she was out in the open air, protected by nothing but one single bracelet which had a dark blue stone as eye catcher.


End file.
